What if we want to date?

So recently I've been writing for this site www.milkandhoneymedia.co.uk

I've only two articles. Here's the most recent....


What if we want to date?

We all know what it’s like Boy meets Girl. Boy likes Girl. Girl and Boy flirt a little bit and then become boyfriend and girlfriend. And then comes the hard bit- the opinions from the world and his wife on how to act, what to do and when to say those three little words. Defining your relationship and finding a formula that works for you can be tough. Most people get most of their dating advice these days from magazines and rom-coms but what are the rules for dating today? And what does the church say about dating?
Dating can be complicated when you’re a Christian so to simplify I like to go direct to the Bible for some basics. As a Christian I do my best to ensure I live a life that’s holy and pleasing to God and that conforms to the way of life set out in the Bible. It hasn’t always been this way but it certainly is now.

Do not define a godly relationship by worldly standards
As it says in Romans ‘Do not conform to the patterns of this world.’ (Romans 12:2). Do not let the rules and regulations, the dos and don’ts of this world define a relationship where God is in charge. This one I’ve found most helpful in helping define a relationship and its boundaries within a Christian context. It takes the pressure off and keeps me grounded.

Protect your purity and cherish it.
The Bible is clear that to live a Godly life sex must be saved for marriage. It is something God has set aside for the context of marriage and is to be enjoyed within the safety of marriage. Knowing you must not have sex outside marriage is one thing, seeking to cherish this and value your purity is quite another. It has taken me a long time to achieve an attitude that sees it a gift or privilege to set yourself aside for the one man you are going to marry. But I think if you get there it’s worth it and makes the waiting a lot easier!

Date like-minded people
For me this means dating Christian men. To date someone who doesn’t share my faith or believe in God would be strange because it’s so important to me. Also this point has biblical basis: 2 Corinthians 6:14 says ‘Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.’ This makes clear the standard that God sets for relationships in my view. And from personal experience of not heeding this rule it’s a lot harder to establish or maintain a pure relationship with a non-Christian who doesn’t share your raison d-etre.

What form these rules can take and what following them can lead to in a relationship I haven’t figured out yet. But for now, these are my dating rules. Borne partly out of knowing the other side,
making these mistakes and learning from them, and partly from desiring to meet and have a relationship with a godly man. I know now what I want and what I don’t and a little more on how not to act when I think I’ve found it.
For those who feel these rules may not apply because of past actions in previous or current relationships I have written this not from a place of self-righteousness or smug moral and spiritual superiority but having made many of the mistakes these rules advocate avoiding. I have not always been a Christian and my relationships to date have not always had God at the centre. The result has been an unequal yoking and often has ended in heartbreak. But I believe these rules can absolutely be applied to my life now as a single Christian and to my next relationship (which believe you me will be with a Christian, grounded in Godly authority and enriched because of it) so if you’re wondering whether having broken these rules in the past whether you are exempt from having a good, Christian relationship the answer is no. Why not turn over a new slate today and see whether any of these rules might work for you?