Give yourself a break.

Sometimes having faith is hard. Too hard. And all you can muster is hope- hope that things will get better and that you will learn to trust, that faith will come. That's where I'm at at the moment. There are things in my life where the road ahead is unsteady, my view is obscured, murky. There is light at the end of the tunnel but it looks so small sometimes I think I'm dreaming it. But it is there. It's not always your fault. Sometimes no amount of cajoling yourself into 'keeping the faith', sucking it up or trying to cheer yourself up can shake the blues. But even when you doubt, struggle, sink or swim God is there. He knows those times you wish you could believe for better but can't and He remains exactly where He is throughout. Sometimes I get angry at the implication of this. Sometimes the realisation of this moves me to tears and its impact renders me speechless. Why does he see so much and seemingly no do anything to alleviate the hurt? Sometimes its of comfort. Though I may feel alone, though I may not feel the warmth of His promises cloaked around me He's still there. He is steadfast. So irrespective of how I feel I cling to this truth. I give myself a break because I may not always be able to summon the faith but I do always have hope. When my pride is hurt and all I can do is whisper, whisper is what I'll do until I can shout again. So when there's nothing else to do...hope, pray and take heart that everything will be ok. He is there, He always was and He always will be.