So recently I set myself some goals. I’ve been thinking more about this. I set first the goal of sorting my finances. I like the idea of 2 years to get myself debt free and I also know I love metaphors and similes and handy buzzwords to help me make lists and achieve things. So I’m sticking with the 2 thing. I know there’s a lot of chat about the power of 3 but I like the idea of 2- 2 years to get to a weight I'm happier with, 2 years to get debt free and have a new job but more than that a new job a career. So those are my goals so far. But more than that there is a more invested reason behind why I’m doing all this. Mental and physical wellbeing aside I know that something of incredible importance to me is to have people to share my life with, people to spend quality time with. Or, more specifically, a person, that special someone, the 'one’ if you like. And I thought it would be a terrible shame if I meet that person and realise there things that need to be sorted through before I’m prepared spiritually, mentally and physically to have a proper and meaningful relationship. What if because of my laziness we have to wait until I’ve readied myself for it, prepared myself suitably for the relationship? What if by that time I’ve got myself into more of a mess and it takes 3 years to sort? Life is too short not to be preparing for future adventures. And perhaps the greatest shame of all would be if that person passes me by completely because he doesn’t think I’m ready. Ok, maybe I’m going off on a slightly unrealistic tangent here but you get the picture. If I’m going to believe in romance for myself then well I’m going to do my utmost to make damn sure I am ready. A lot of this stems from reading a blog post by a guy written in the form of a letter of commitment to his wife setting out in no uncertain terms the changes of attitude and habit he’s seeking in order to prepare himself for the role of being not only a good husband but an excellent one and a great parent to boot. I read it and thought wow this is something I want in my husband and so, therefore it would be unfair not to also be undergoing a process of transformation. I want to be a great example of what Christian women can aspire to be, a god-honouring person of strength and virtue and a good wife. True there are things I have already squandered that should have been reserved for my special someone but I confessed, and repented for those and now refuse to be judged and constrained by past mistakes or regrets. I am not and will not ever be a victim, someone ruled by past sins. I believe 100% in the saving grace of God’s mercy and forgiveness and the power of the Gospel. With that comes the great responsibility (and wonderful freedom) of taking my sin to the cross and leaving it there dealt with and forgotten. I am learning to train my mind in the ways of discipline and self-control so as to renew my mind afresh with God’s wonder and awe and discern the path God has set out for me, the partner he intends. This means many a mindset change and perspective shift. So here are the things I commit to changing about myself, the attitudes I will prayerfully work hard to destroy and the ones I will instil in myself in their place:
· Sexual impurity- purity of thought, word and mind is what I’m about these days. It’s a tall order and naturally (though this goes without saying) purity of deed. I will save my returned virtue for you and you alone. It’s not something I’ve always done but it’s something I will be doing from now on for sure.
· Financial imprudence – I will from now on take more time to pour my finances in to building up the kingdom not that which prevents it from advancing. I will make financially sound decisions, allow for rainy days, and make sure that my money choices reflect my heart not serve consumerist interests.
· Letting my temper rule- I will intentionally speak positive words of life and light reflecting God’s love and hopefully sharing that with others. Not words of anger that will cause pain and suffering. I will hold myself up for scrutiny and testing in my words and promises in order to increase the accountability I should have in this area. This is a big one for me. You know that thing they say about redheads being fiery, yeah that’s kinda true. But I’m working on it and I’m getting better daily.
· Making decisions in my own strength- Something I’ve been guilty of in the past. Call it fierce independence or stubbornness or whatever you like. But either way it was a way of making decisions that didn’t involve God. This needs to and will change. My church has this DNA called changeling. I’m trying it out for size and am ok at it all in all but still have some way to go yet.
·
So there it is, a little rough round the edges and raw but sincere and genuine. It may require a little spiritual moulding and theological revision but in basic principle I think it holds up ok. I hope to tick things off and add to the list throughout the course of the next two years. And perhaps I need far longer than 2 years but it’s a start. I’ve always been ambitious so perhaps this is the kick up the arse I’ve needed.
No comments:
Post a Comment